Will The Circle Be Unbroken?

After having sent back at least one of the Consumer Reports invoices clearly marked "CANCEL" as per their instructions, I received two further invoices. One would have been understandable, but obviously they didn't get the message, so I figured I'd deal with it tonight while working on the rest of my bills. I would have just marked up the invoice again, but why should I invest my hard-earned thirty-nine cents on a stamp? Since I knew their website was useless for actually getting anything done, I figured I'd call. Of course the number is not listed anywhere on the invoice, that would make too much sense. So I went back to the website and finally found the number to call.

Dialed the number and immediately got quality of service recording disclaimer, a thank you for calling message* and a preface to the routing menu. But before actually getting the menu, the nice lady tells me "you may also process customer service related inquiries at our website, just go to ...." Did they change something?

Whatever, I'd already called, it was easy enough to press 3 and continue. I told the rep who answered that I'd attempted to cancel, kept getting invoices. She said she'd take care of it. And then proceeded to try to cross-sell me a subscription to some Consumer Reports Newsletter! I'd love to meet the marketing genius who came up with that plan. Dude, I'm calling to cancel my subscription, why would you think it's a good idea to ask me to subscribe to something else?

After hanging up in stunned disbelief, I figured I'd double-check that claim of being able to use the website. I typed in exactly the URL that had been given me and, depsite the horrid interface, somehow managed once again to find the links about the magazine (as opposed to the "CR.org website) and clicked on the link about cancelling a subscription.

We are sorry to lose you as a subscriber. To cancel your subscription, you may call our Subscription Department at 1-800-XXX-XXXX and a representative will gladly assist you.

So just to re-iterate, you can go to the website to find the phone number, then call the number and hear that you can process your request on the website, which tells you to call the phone number, ....

Hey, thanks guys, but The Amazing Race comes on in less than an hour, so I gotta go.

* Why do corporations say "thank you" at the start of a call? Thank you is most commonly used in American English at the end of a transaction.