Does this bug you? Does this bug you? Does this bug you?

I am probably 50% at fault here. Maybe more, maybe less, but certainly not 100%. Dozens of times I've been checking out at Kohl's and just told them "no" when they asked for my email address. Earlier this month I guess I had a weak moment and gave it up.

Yeah, I got a $5 coupon, but I also got email after email after email. In fact I got ten emails within ten days.

I thought I'd get occasional emails from them. Not something every freaking day!

So I hit the link to unsubscribe. Seems simple enough, but I'm told it will take 7 to 14 days. Dear Kohl's, Perhaps you have heard of these new-fangled "computers" which can update databases in less than a second? They're amazing!

I'm also told that I can resume getting my inbox bombed by going to "My Account." When did I get an account? I don't want an account. I don't want my email to be in their records anywhere.

So I decide I'll try to email them to vent my frustrations. I hit the "Contact Us" link and the page displays an email address, but it's not an actual email address link, it's a link to another webpage. Like so -- customer.service@kohls.com. Dear Kohl's, When a piece of text display as an email hyperlink, then it should contain a standard "mailto" link. Period.

Anyway, on the webpage I'm sent to, there is a form to fill out with my name, email, and what it is I'd like to contact them about, which I dutifully fill out and hit GO and end up right back at the same page, with my information cleared.

Dear Kohl's, It's really very simple -- annoying customers is NOT a good way to increase business. Your ex-customer, Larry Mac


I just don't understand what marketing departments are thinking. They beg for your email address and then act like a kid in a candy store with a bottomless pocket full of change.

Yeah, you guys, it bugs me. It bugs me enough to not ever want to support your bottom line again.

Oh, and by the way, Kohl's. Get out with the everything on sale crap. I'm sure some people are fooled, but eventually even the most gullible are going to catch on. Just mark the prices reasonably and people will shop at your stores. Not me, of course, I'm done.

Taking it Seriously

Taking it very seriously

Not that I have any regular readers, but if I did, I might refer them to this post for background.

It's happened again. From syncinfo@ford.com to me:

Dear Larry McXXXX,

We're writing to confirm that you have successfully created a SYNC account at http://www.syncmyride.com.

This email goes on to give me Mr Mc's mobile phone number and ZIP code. It also says "If you did not create an account, please contact us immediately" with a link that goes to a quite generic Contact Us page. I filled in their form, saying "hey I'm not that guy" and sent it along. Meanwhile, within three minutes of the first email, another one came in from Sync, this time giving me that guy's "Preferred Ford Dealership." So in case I hadn't looked up the ZIP code in the first message, I really could zero in on the guy's location.

Then another email eight minutes later, this one without so much personal information, but I did notice the line "Ford takes your privacy seriously."

Well, gee, no, Ford, you don't. With a little luck and guesswork, I'm sure I could already have taken over this guy's account if I wanted to. I filled out another form and sent it, and as I was doing so, noticed a link offering contact telephone numbers. I called in and navigated the menus and got somebody on the line who seemed to understand and who said he'd contact Mr. McXXXX and get things straightened out.

But come on, Ford! Taking it seriously means you DO NOT sent out private information to a non-confirmed account. You DO NOT put a link that says "Contact Us Immediately" if you don't have something on the other end of that link that will allow me to contact you, immediately.

I did get a response to one or the other of my form submissions (forty minutes later ....) -- it says "Your SYNC inquiry has been received by the Customer Relationship Center. We will reply to your inquiry within two business days." Two days? So much for "immediately."

But hey, you guys keep on taking it seriously. I'm just going to sit here and laugh.

And a time to every purpose under the heaven

G'day mates.

Oi 'ad a stike dinna las noight at the Outback.

And I'm going to stop typing in a horrid Ozzie accent now.

Anyway, I like The Outback. The decor is very last century, but I usually get decent service and a decent plate of food. I've only eaten there about four times in the past year, but the funny thing is that every time, the side order of "fresh" "seasonal" vegetables that gets served up consists of yellow squash, broccoli, snow peas and carrots. Since my visits there have spanned all the seasons, I can't help but wonder just how "seasonal" these vegetables are. And "fresh"? Yeah, not so much.

It might not be as noticeable if the list of side orders didn't say "potatoes, potatoes, potatoes, fresh seasonal vegetables, potatoes." Don't get me wrong, I happen to like those veggies, and they're cooked nicely - no mush there. But really guys, don't lie to me on the menu. Just call 'em "steamed vegetable medley" and we can all be happy.

Cheers.

Cookie Wars

A few months ago, for better or worse, I started playing "Mafia Wars" on Facebook. I knew better than to "purchase" any points or other in-game items for real cash, I simply played the game and slowly moved up through the rankings.

A few weeks ago, the internets were abuzz with copies of a video showing Mark Pincus, CEO of Zynga (the company the created Mafia Wars). One example is here, where a partial transcript shows Pincus saying "scamming users was part of Zynga’s business model from the start."

Lovely.

Still, I figured I was OK by not downloading any add-ons or paying any real money to anybody.

Yesterday morning I tried to play MW for a bit and got a poorly crafted message telling me "cookies are required". Like many many somewhat savvy web users, I have my browser locked down pretty tightly; specifically disallowing third-party cookies. I wasn't about to change my privacy settings for a game, especially since I had no idea what site I was supposed to allow. And of course there's that whole skeevy feeling that I have about Zynga now. I tried to access the game a few more times during the day, but the message didn't change.

This morning, I tried again. A new message showed up, which gave specific instructions for my browser on how to "allow all cookies."

Um, yeah, no.

So, for the sake of advertising and tracking, Zynga is willing to lose thousands of players. Great business decision there, guys.

Jersey Mike's Follow-up

A couple weeks ago, I wrote about my disappointment with the downsizing of Jersey Mike's subs. As noted in the original post, I also filled out an online "comment card" at the J-Mike's website and for my trouble, got a copy-and-paste response (five days later) thanking me for my comments and saying "Your comments have been forwarded to the owner to address." Of course I've heard nothing since... (cf: this post). I even responded to that 11/11 email last Wednesday (11/25) somewhat sarcastically -- 'I guess when you said my comments were forwarded to the owner to address, you really meant "for the owner to ignore." '

So imagine my surprise this morning when I was checking my emails and saw something from "emailclub@jerseymikes.com" with the subject line "Jersey Mike's Coupon Offer". I know for sure that I didn't opt-in to any emails from them when I filled out that online comment card. Double You Tee Eff, Mate?

Buried in the fine print at the bottom of the email was this paragraph

Dear Larry, this email advertisement was sent to you because you signed up to receive emails from us via our website or in one of our stores, or have contacted us within the last 2 years.

BECAUSE I CONTACTED THEM WITHIN THE LAST TWO YEARS? Really?

As I said to J-Mike's in my email last Wednesday, there's plenty of places to buy a sub sandwich. For me, Jersey Mike's is now off the list forever.

Milk-Bone Underwear

About a month ago, I ordered some underwear from the Jockey website. Hey, I needed some new skivvies and I had an offer for 20% off plus free shipping. The transaction was fairly easy, and the shipment arrived quickly.

I guess I left a box checked somewhere, because the emails started to arrive too. At least seven of them within ten days. Like a puppy with a rawhide chewtoy, Jockey just couldn't leave my email alone, and had to keep working it.

To top things off, the unsubscribe link the their emails was funneled through p0.com, which doesn't have a good reputation, and thus is blocked on all my computers.

Keep your spammy emails, Jockey, you're barking up the wrong tree. I'll just go back to my classic CKs.

Weird Marketing Strikes Again

GE sells light bulbs. Lots of light bulbs I'd imagine. One of their specific lines is the "Reveal" bulb, which, they say, provides "clean, beautiful light™" that "makes colors 'pop'." Probably a nice thing to have, but I have converted to CFLs in most parts of my house. In the living room, the lamps have amber colored mica shades, so I think using a bulb that filters out the yellowish color of a regular incandescent seems like a waste.

I was out shopping at Target with a friend yesterday when he remembered that he needed an light bulb for inside his stove. He went off to the find what he needed while I examined the clearance endcaps. When he came back, he had a 40W GE "Reveal" appliance bulb. Is it really necessary to make sure the roast in your oven has colors that pop? Of course you can also use one of these bulbs in a refrigerator. Does the broccoli look better?

Maybe it's just me, and I'm missing out on the wondrous look of the cold or cooked food.