Bad IVR is bad

Here's a quick post very closely related to my blog title!

I have a couple of Costco gift cards that I needed to check the balances on. I called the toll-free number on the back, and got a cavalcade of bad design.

They start out with everyone's favorite, "For English press 1." You really have to make that the expected default. Tell me (in Spanish) to oprima el something if necessary, but don't lock me into that language menu at the start.

Then there's this month's nomination for the most useless prompt ever "To obtain your card balance, have your account number ready and press 1." Ummm, this is the number you gave me to call for balance inquiry, and you didn't give me any other options, so what is this "menu" doing here? If there are other things I can do by calling this number, tell me what they are, otherwise this is a giant roadblock that serves no purpose. "If you like being made to jump through hoops, press 1".

Having pressed 1, it's time to enter the card number. "Please enter the 19 [!] digit card number, followed by the pound sign." The only to press the pound sign is to indicate that I'm done entering digits. Perhaps your IVR can not count all the way up to 19?

OK, now I've pressed twenty more keys. They would like to confirm the last four digits of what I entered. I'm not sure why, but I suppose a fellow could get worn out from all that button mashin'. "The last four digits you entered are 1 2 3 4. If this is correct, press the



wait for it





pound key." This is where I'm saying DOUBLE YOU TEE EFF MATE? "If incorrect, press the star key."

Ummmmmm, thousands of confirmation prompts have been written. Almost universally, the choices are 1 and 2. Us VUI designers like 1 and 2 for correct/incorrect. Also for yes/no. Pound and Star (# and *) are special.

The only thing they seem to have gotten right is a menu item that lets me check another card after hearing the balance in the first one.

CWC Gift Card Co. . . . let's talk. I can fix your IVR in about a day.